Five Years Ago
by kaylune
Summary: Five years ago, I loved him. Five years ago, he died. Five years ago, I found out he still loved me. Now, it is time for me to move on but I cannot. I am still holding on to him till he tells me otherwise.


**My name is Kay Lune. I have been a Degrassi fan since 2003. This is my first Degrassi fanfiction. I never really wanted to write Degrassi fanfiction because I was scared I might ruin my obsession. But hey, what the heck...so I decided to write Degrassi. I hope you guys all love it.**

**Read and Review(:  
Oh, visit my Tumblr please!  
http:/miss-degrassi [dot] tumblr [dot] com**

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Thinking of him hurts. Its hurts more than a spinal tap during a pregnancy. How do I know that? He was the father of my baby-the baby I had to give away so us three can have a better life. He was my first and only true love. I loved him and he knew it.

It was painful seeing him with Mia Jones. She was pretty girl. She even had a kid. A beautiful daughter. It was like their own little family. The family I wanted but won't have. Even that image kills me inside. Five years ago. Five years ago he dated Mia. Mia, pretty Mia who ended up becoming a model. A model with a daughter. A very pretty model with a daughter and the last person he got to kiss.

I could not let myself cry at his funeral. Why should I cry? Yes, I loved him. But he did not love me. Or so I thought for a while. Before that though, I could not cry. He did not love me. Mia even called me an emotionless robot, and I even kissed Toby. Poor Toby. He was my rebound crush. He was the one who told me the truth though. The truth that I could not believe. The truth that I did not expect especially at that time. I had heard Mia and Toby fighting and like always Mia made herself the victim. Then Toby said it. He was still in love with me. I watched Mia storm down the stairs. I stopped her and asked for the tape. I played the tape. JT was playing with Mia's daughter. Tears began to fall. The truth finally settled. He loved me as much as I had loved him.

Life is not fair. It's not. He was young with a bright future ahead of him. He was loved-not only by me but by everyone at Degrassi. He loved to play around. His smile made everyone's day. He always was bouncing off the walls causing trouble. Something he was actually good at.

I look at my desk. Five years ago all of this happened. Five years have passed since that night. Five years ago since I found out he still loved me. Five years have passed and I have yet to let go. I cannot. I do not want to. Life seems so unfair that I am still here. He is at a far away place joking around with the father almighty. I look at a picture frame. I smile. The picture contains a very silly JT, a sexy Manny posing, a giggly Emma, a smart Toby and a very happy me. I look at another picture. A beautiful baby boy who is going to be 6 years old this year. He looks so much like his father.

I place my head on my desk. I start to cry. Why? Why? Why? At the next instant, I feel arms around me, comforting me. I sit straight up, looking to see who it was. I see no one. On my paper I see a scribbles. I read it. "Life goes on Liberty" it said. I smiled. JT was here. JT just gave me my answer. I look at the picture once more.

"I love you JT" I said to no one.

I grab my laptop from my bag and turn it on. As I wait for it to load, I stare at the note. I grab the picture frame and take off the cover. I place the note in with the picture and put the cover back on. I get on Skype. As the call is being made, I see JT in front of me.

"I love you very much. I never did stop loving you. You always will be chocolate brownie. Just remember that life goes on Liberty," he said as he vanished.

I began to smile. Him saying that he loves me and saying my name made me know that I do have to move on. The caller picked up my Skype call. I quickly rubbed my eyes."Hi honey, are you okay?" asked the called.

"Yes, of course. Emma just called me a while ago, and she gave birth to a baby girl. Spinner must be very pleased."

The caller starts to laugh. "Spinner? Ha, he now has to protect his daughter from guys that were like him in high school."

I began to laugh. "His daughter will take back to the Degrassi memoirs."

"So did you call to tell me about Emma's and Spinner's new addition to the family…or is there something else?"

I looked away from the screen and saw JT once more. He was nodding yes, as if he was reading my mind.

"Remember when you asked me two nights ago if I wanted to marry you….and I said no…?"

"Yes…..why?"

"Honey, I do want to marry you. I was just overwhelmed, but I know that marrying you is the right thing to do. I love you Toby Isaacs"

"YES! I love you so much Liberty, like you have no idea! I cannot wait to tell everyone. Look, can we talk about this over breakfast tomorrow? I have an important meeting but I will be home tomorrow morning."

"Alright Toby. I'll see you tomorrow morning."

I hung up the Skype call. I look up once more and JT is there smiling.

"JT, did I make the right choice?"

JT nodded. "Liberty, you are moving on. That's what matters. You know that I still love you, but as I said before, life goes on. Toby is a really lucky guy." The ghost of JT walked towards me and kissed me in the cheek-which felt cold.

"I love you JT," I said as he disappeared forever.

Five years ago I found out he still loved me and he still does...as much as I love him.  


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